Why are holiday’s never long enough? And where the FCUK is the wind?

Where you been Craig?

The wind has been excellent since Saturday. I have been out for 4 days in a row at Beadnell

Saturday and Sunday are look good mind.

I had a week getting very drunk with my French friends then we've been back to Fuerteventura for two weeks. Loved it, again.

I'm glad I took all my gear though, I only had one day when it was over 25kn and I was on the 10.5. There was 82 kites and Windsurfers on Flag beach that day!!! You couldnt see the sky for kites, it was mental. The rest of the time I was on the 12 and 19. A couple of days there was less than 8kn so me and the kids went surfing or SUP. Loved it but sup is harder than it looks

3 or 4 days out of the 14 there was only 2 of us out, both on Flysurfers (me and Gunnar or me and a German dude I never got to talk to) there would be 20+ kites lying on the beach, lots of frowns and lots of Euros shouting at girlfriends to help launch and land!

I lost my 12 at El Cotillo after getting wrapped in my lines in 8ft shoredump ...I watched it floating towards America for what seems like an eternity but thats a story for another day...

I'll see you somewhere this weekend

youve lost your 12 bet your gutted. was there no one around to rescue it ?
you getting another one to replace it then

I fired my kite because I was wrapped in the lines and didnt know which way was up. The leash must have also come off in the excitement. Bollocks. Because the kite was still inflated and it was cross offshore wind I couldnt reach it, the wind was taking it further and further away. The first 100m or so from the beach you are in a wind shadow of the cove so getting in and out can be very tricky, it's a bit like, powered nothing, powered nothing. Once you are out of the shadow you are fine. The wind had also dropped 10mins after I launched.

The only people who were on the water were doing a downwinder and they were struggling to keep their kites in the air when they reached the wind shadow.One bloke tried on a surfboard/big kite to get it back, he managed to get out to it but the wind was too light his kite started stalling so he gave up.

That was a very poo time indeed, standing on the beach with a foot cut to bits from landing on rocks a couple of days earlier, my other ankle up like a pudding from where the dump had ripped one of the footstraps off the board. Holding half a kite leash watching my mega bucks kite fade into the distance. I let out a few deep and meaningfull words directed at the sky quite loudly as people must have been thinking, serves him right for spending all that money on a kite, the daft English twat.

I was in the car on my way round to the harbour to hire some kind of boat when I saw a fishing boat pick the kite out of the water way out in the distance. I got to the harbour and ran across 5 moored boats and shook that mans hand, alot. He wouldnt take any money from me either. I sorted the kite out the next day and it's fine...not a mark on it, fly's mint.

So all that blah blah leads to this question...who is the bloke kitesurfing in the massive picture when you arrive back at Newcastle airport?

BTW at other beaches where they DO provide cover you have to pay them 30 euros just in case they need to rescue you. If you don't pre pay and need a rescue they charge 100euros!
and for f***s sake don't cross the solid white line or do a "u" turn in a hire car in front of a cop, she wanted to fine me 400euros!!!!!!!!

glad to hear you got it back craig, bet it took some time untangling the lines

hi Craig Im heading out there on Wednesday for 2 weeks, stopping in Corralejo .
Any tips/advice on where to kite, eat, drink, ect.
Where you hire car from and how much.
Thx

Ok take a deep breath.......

I was going to PM a bit of info to you but I thought I’d do a mahoossive info version in case anyone else was going to Fuerteventura. Maybe we can have a “world” location section so all the NEkiters can get info’d up before they head off to kite in the sun?

HIRE CARS
Check on Alpharooms for hire cars. We have used Orlando in the past as they are cheap but you have to wait for someone to pick you up in a minibus from the airport and drive you to their yard 5 mins down the road where you unload then load back in to your hire car, a reet fanny on. This time we used Hertz because they are in the terminal and the cars are parked right outside. Some hire companies hire roof racks for boards if you want them on the roof. The only thing is that if it’s blowing 25kn and the sand is blasting you in the face it’s quite hard to strap a board to the roof.

We had a Peugeot Partner this time so we could drop the small rear seat and get the 4 of us in plus the surfboard bag, 3 kites, laptop, 2 big cases and 2 small cases etc. (£330 for the 2 weeks, in Janurary we only paid £240!) Don’t pay alpha rooms for the damage waiver if using Hertz. Hertz wanted us to pay again for their own damage cover or it was an 800+euro excess for damage. If they try to give you the wrong car (they will) tell them “no” till you get the right one. You will need aircon.

Do not speed or drink drive or cross the solid white line or carry a large surfboard unstrapped inside the car, the police are shit hot when you have a hire car sticker on the back of the car. Locals fly about like lunatics of course.

AIRLINES
The airline will charge £20 to take your board so I stripped 3 boards down and put them all in 1 surfboard bag. I took my door, all round board and hard as nails flat water board and obviously only used the all round. The kites went on our backs squashed down as small as possible so they look like backpacks. I took the 19, 12 and 10.5 because the wind season is finished and there is a good chance it’ll be blowing anything from 8 to 30kn. My bar, lines, pump, foot straps, harness, pads etc all went in 1 case with the usual mens gear. Yes it was 3 pairs of shorts and 7 tee’s. You won’t need a wettie it’s like bathwater in August/September. At 35 to 42 degree’s air temp I only saw a few locals with them on.

WIND
We have missed the wind season (May to August is the best time for > bft 4) but the wind builds in the afternoons and flag beach is only 2 mins in the car so you can keep checking. The prevailing wind is NNE. Or look north and see what the turbines are doing. There is a lad called Ben from Burnopfield works at the flag hut if you want any info.

Go to flag at low tide and see where the rocks are. You only have a small get out and in area (straight from the flag hut) that’s sandy, the rest is foot shredder world. High tide you are fine in and out anywhere you want.

PLACES
Lajares is 5mins away and is a small village that has a nice laidback feel with surf/kite shops (repairs, sales and rentals) and a few bars, café’s and restaurants. El Cotillo is 15mins in the car from Corralejo. If you turn left when you get there you have a surf beach then a kite beach. If you turn right and head towards the lighthouse you have some perfect turquoise flat lagoons and then carry on down that dirt road and you have the North Shore, you’ll see the caravans and tents that look like something out of a Mad Max film all covered in red dust! Your kidneys will ache and your hire car will rattle itself to death. Pick up a map from Homegrown in Corralejo by the shell garage I think.

Sotavento is an hour and a half away, it’s a nice drive with stunning scenery. The lagoon sometimes fills up but the sea is flat/chop anyway. Head for the Rene Egli site. It’s very nice down there but if it’s offshore it can be gusty. Pay your 30euro for rescue cover if you go out in offshore conditions. We didn’t venture any further south. Costa Caletta was nice and green (they have grass!) didn’t kite there but it was full of old, loud southerners shouting “cheas dawlin” with their bellies out smoking tabs, eating Yorkshire puds and drinking cheap piss.

STUFF
If you want to do any downwinders etc go to Krunk, Magma or there’s loads to choose from. I fancied doing one from Lanzarote round Lobos and back to flag or Cotillo but didn’t find the time. You can rent stuff from loads of places, Magma was doing F-one directionals for 25euro a day for example. He also had twin tips, kites and even a hydrofoil to rent! Surfboards are 10euros a day and SUP’s are 15euros an hour. Some places might ask to see your IKO card (to prove that you won’t kill yourself and destroy their gear) if you haven’t got one tell them that you are above level 3 and your name is Ben Wilson.

If you want cheap supermarkets go to the Padilla, Hyperdino etc on the top road opposite the bus station at the harbour (Avenida Jaun Carlos) these are the ones that the locals use.

If you want any info about anything else go to the whereabouts office (Hoplaco Gardens) very helpful bloke who produces the whereabouts book. Then walk 10 paces to one of the best views on the island at Serena I think it’s called. A couple of our favourite places to eat and drink are….go and see Frans at bar Bugaloo (he has a nice villa to rent as well, wink wink) for a beer and a meatball and smiling faces! a bit of a rarity sometimes out there, applies to Canarians only. Everyone who has settled there is always smiling, well you would wouldn’t you …have you seen the place?

Eat at Tio Bernabe’s for amazing meat dishes. The Tapas for 2 is 30 euros and you get a bottle of wine included, if you order some breads it will easily feed 4 people and the baby goat is amazing, still got it’s dummy in and everything! Everything is very good at Tio’s, you can pick out the exact fish you want to eat and have it cooked the way you want. If you go a couple of times you’ll get a better bottle of wine some brill entre bits and bobs for nowt. I’ve brought 6 jars of the red Mojo Picon Picante sauce back cos I can’t get enough of it…I’m going to cook my tatties in sea water tonight and pretend I’m still there!

La Mama is also very good for pasta and pizza and if you want Chinese food the Slow Boat Wok is canny, bit like Lau’s in town but you can pick what you want raw and watch it being cooked as you stuff your face with the rest of the buffet! In Cotillo there is a restaurant (El Aguayre) that looks out from the harbour wall to the surf and kite beaches, has very good food and is cheap, so you can watch the kites as you have the best tuna sandwich in the world. Fazz’s Indian restaurant in the old town is good been there a few times. The food has loads of flavour but if you like your food proper spicy you might want to tell him to pep it up a bit. Basically anywhere that isn’t full of English people is pretty good…apart from the new Mexican in the old town. It’s very shit. Very, very shit with a sombrero on and a big plackie horse outside.

And remember it might be cloudy first thing in the morning but that big burning ball in the sky will get out and burn your nappa as quick as a flash cos you’re not in Spain son you’re in the Sahara!!!!!

Have a good holiday.

“Q” the bbc’s “holiday” music ………….and next week we’ll have some bloke off blue peter reporting from a colon cleansing workshop for abused wildebeest in Venezuela. Good night.

Thanks alot m8 cant wait now.